reunited and it feels so good.
it’s been a week since i’ve written in this blog, and do you remember why? because i got to see you last week!!
it was so amazing seeing you again. i forgot how wonderful your kiss was, how sensitive i was to your touch, and how safe i felt within your arms. we spent the greatest three days together, vegging on the couch and just messing around. i don’t think i could have asked for a more perfect couple of days with you. i don’t even know how i made it three weeks without being held in your arms.
the hardest part about being with you again, was realizing once again that no matter how close i held you or how close you held me, i still needed to be closer to you. it was so hard watching you walk around as i restrained myself from pulling you back to me. when your parents were there, it was so hard to stop myself from making out with you, leaving scratch marks on your back, right in front of your family. the worst part though, was knowing that every night, i had to walk away from you to go to sleep without you.
i hated your room. laying there in bed, knowing that you were only one floor away from me. i was surrounded by pictures of you, sleeping in a bed that you slept in every single night, and smelling the faint scent of cologne; however, i was alone in that room, sleeping by myself, and could only smell what was leftover from the last time you were in the room. i hated knowing that you were so close yet i couldn’t be with you. sleeping alone wasn’t the same once i was held in your arms again.
but boy did we have fun in that bed.
half of me wishes i wouldn’t have came to see you. because with the very best hello, i knew a heart-breaking goodbye had to follow. first let’s talk about the hello! it was just as good as i thought it would be. as soon as i saw you, my heart skipped a beat, my chest got tight, and my knees went weak. i could barely get out of the car to go and hug you. thinking about that first kiss again is driving me wild. the second your lips touched mine, i sank into your arms.
but then came goodbye. do you remember saying goodbye for the summer? the worst thing i have ever had to do. when we were in your room and all of a sudden told me that that would be our goodbye, my eyes started watering and i was crying within seconds. did you know that has never happened to me before? i have never cried during a goodbye before. never.
saying goodbye to you the other day was just as hard. i couldn’t let you watch me drive away because i knew that as soon as i left your driveway, it was possible that i would have to stop the car and allow myself to cry. the tears fell all the way down my face the entire ride home.
but man was that last kiss we shared special.
